Ugh this has nothing to do with eating or weight loss, so don't feel the need to read. I just need to vent. Typically, it's the boy situation.

His other girl. I FUCKING HATE HER. And we're speaking of the ex's other girl, the one he sees when I'm away at school. I don't think I ever fully explained our situation, but the way we worked things out, this is pretty allowable, him having this girl. And I am an extremely unselfish, allowing, non-jealous person. I'm not just saying that either, when we were committed I had no problem with him going out to party on his own, and was never ONCE ever suspicious.

But I feel like that part of me is being corrupted by this weird, unnatural agreement we've come to. Just because I come home doesn't mean she goes away for a month-- she still texts him, facebooks him, and just in general turns me a violent, ugly shade of green. It's turning me into the kind of girl I absolutely despise, one who constantly questions where her man is, who he's texting, what he's texting, whether he is where he says he is.... a Neurotic Bitch, to put it delicately. I haven't yet gotten to the level of voicing these concerns out loud thank god, but who's to say it won't eventually get to that point?

I feel like she and I are in a silent battle over his facebook page. Whenever she posts something on his wall, I'll wait a few days, and then post something funny, snarky, and adorable, usually containing an inside joke to remind her that he is still MY man. She does the same thing.

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach every time I see her on his facebook. Literally I feel pressure in my chest. An ugly jealous green monster, probably.

I hate her. Not her personally, but the idea of her. She could be any other girl and I would still hate her.

Phew.