Monday, January 11, 2010

I can barely look at myself.

Since my last post... it's been binge central. Absolutely disgusting. I've blocked most of it out because that's what I do, but the scale does not lie. Fucking hormones... I never fail to get this way right before my monthlies, it's so fucking annoying. That's my goal for next month: don't be a huge slobby eating mess. I hate the helpless, hopeless feeling after a binge. Like it's impossible for me to be skinny and I'll never reach my goal.

Today.. I've had a piece of dry toast (70 cal) and two cups of green tea. And a liter of water.

Hanging with my (ex?)boyfriend when he gets home from school.. so easy to resist there, and I'll be able to hopefully miss dinner at home-- my mom's making meatloaf, a personal fave, and I don't want to be anywhere near the house when that comes out of the oven.

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