Down one more pound! I'm on track for rush, and in okay shape for modeling tryouts. I really want to blow my cousin away when she sees me. Last year when I modeled, I just remember the dress not fitting and the designer having to struggle to zip up the back... that's when I started this shit eating and thinking. That will not happen again. I refuse to be embarrassed backstage when we're all walking around in our underwear, and I REFUSE to be the "fat model" in her collection. Eff that. I love being on stage and walking in shows, and I don't want to feel ashamed of myself and take away the fun.

I just want to be delicate. I want to feel small and graceful and breakable and lovely.