154.6

I'm going to kill my scale a drawn-out and painful death. SRSLYTHO. It literally has it in for me. Yesterday I did very well, taking in just over 400 cal and running 4.5 miles again, so I was pretty excited to step on the scale this morning (rare occurrence). But no-- I step on, after peeing of course, and what do I see but a TWO POUND GAIN.

WHAT THE FUCK.

me: This can't be right. (steps off, walks downstairs, starts coffee machine, goes back upstairs)

scale: bahaha

me: (steps on) what?? no way, this is not correct!

scale: fuck you fattie!

me: (crying) WHAT THE FUCK I literally kicked my own ass yesterday!

scale: (middle finger)

me: :...(

scale: you are a fat fuck and nothing you do will ever change this.

me: (chugs .75L of water and gets back on the scale)

scale: you are still the same weight. Lardass.

me: IUAEJGILJILNVLIDG!!!!!SGBJSFIGB!!

scale: O_O (is pitched out window)

So after that happy exchange, and the water test (my stomach was about to explode), I came to the conclusion that it must be stuck or something. This isn't me just deluding myself that I'm not as fat as it said I am, right? Chugging all that water should have increased my weight, right?? After peeing, going about my business for the morning, yada yada making some roast tomaters for lunch, I get back on and

--LO AND BEHOLD--

I have dropped down three motherfucking pounds from the morning. THIS is more correct, I think. It's not dropped waterweight, because I've been drinking like a fish all morning. I think the stern talking-to I gave to my scale earlier made it clear I mean serious business, and it better straighten itself out or wife-scale and baby-scale will end up in the ocean with cement shoes.

Katie - 1. Asshole scale - 0.