Hmm, haha so I completely flipped a shit on myself two days ago, because I finally stepped on the dreaded scale and it read my past highest weight. I've eaten 400cal the past 2 days, and when I weighed myself this morning, realized that the number two days ago wasn't right--- the scale takes three readings to adjust itself if it hasn't been used in a while, and I ended up being a lot lower than what it said. bahaha... nothing like a false high number to put the fear of god in me and get me back on track.

And I tried something different, I've never done this before... I told my roommates I was going on a diet. Obv they don't know the extent or anything, but since they don't know how to count calories and see me "eating" all the time (MMM BROCCOLI) they're not that alarmed. And now I don't feel as weird ordering salads when we eat out.

Side note: my one roommate, who when I said I was dieting shouted ooh me too I'll join you, ate almost an entire jar of nutella last night. One part of me is disgusted. But the other part of me knows, if I was in binge mode, I would do the same thing. It's so weird how separate the two parts of me are-- I sort of wish there was a happy medium instead of binge or starve. After restricting for a logn time I'm much better about controlling myself when eating "normally", but there's always the fear that I'll just snap and eat an entire jar of nutella.

I just feel bad for her. I know how she feels.

Other note: I needed a goal date to reach my weight by, and now I have it-- my mom's coming to visit in Florence for my birthday weekend!!! (weekend of Dec. 12th... finally turning 20). And since she's rail thin-- perfect. Inspiration. Plus I'll be skinny for my birthday.

Last night I drunk munched-- on an apple :]